I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
