I wanna bring you to show and tell
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
