i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
