I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
