she woke up with a sticky ear
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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