8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
