He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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