I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
