I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
