Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
it glows. i had to have it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
