this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
