So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
