my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize