I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
