I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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