now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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