so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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