she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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