Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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