i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
