goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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