shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You're like the curious george of whores
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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