its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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