..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
