Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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