those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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