And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
