Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
