Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
