i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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