hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
