You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
