Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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