As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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