He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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