I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
