that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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