For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize