He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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