I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
