it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
