i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
