Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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