Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
