Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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