i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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