Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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