I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
