I smell stomach acid.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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