Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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