You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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