Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
