he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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