haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
