I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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