His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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