dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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