Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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