Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
