dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
