Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
