He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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