Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
