just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
