When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
