Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
