Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
