I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
