I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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