Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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