Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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