so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
