I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
