How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
