I skipped work to stalk him.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
