Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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