Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize